On Commandments and the Law
I did more soul-searching over the last few days about the Ten Commandments and my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ’s commandments in the New Testament.
The top offender is stealing before my teenage years. I stole money from my parents to buy books and stole books on several occasions when my parents did not give me money. Other than that, I may have intentionally forgotten to return my headphones and some charging cables to my former employers.
The other more or less equally offending one is lying. I found out quite early on that lying is rarely the best strategy and selectively revealing information could more often than not achieve the same desirable outcome. The main difficulty with that strategy is you need to possess a superset of knowledge that entirely encompasses that of the person you are selectively revealing information.
If you try over-employment with 3-4 six-figure software engineering jobs simultaneously whilst being a single parent for two younger adult siblings, you would probably prefer selectively revealing information than lying any day. This is because complexity multiplies the more components you add to a complex system. One simple screwup could easily bring down the entire house of cards. Lying simply does not work unless you have a perfect memory and I more often than not can’t remember when I last brushed my teeth on this 21-week and 1-day journey.
Other than that, I have misdemeanours that I cannot remember because I am insane and nuts and I venture into a new field every couple of months just for fun and do a fair bit of study and research.
I went through hell in three months to learn how to love and was willing to take a bullet for anyone on this earth regardless of what they did to me. What have you done to earn the right to judge who I am and make accusations about me? Just by reading more scripture?
I do not know why since I don’t have all the answers, yet, but I find the following passages immensely fitting on this 21-week and 1-day journey after everyone kept slamming the door on my face despite I have done nothing but telling the truth. I have zero fucking desire to be the fucking messiah and be involved in this fucking saving the world shit and 9 times out of 10 I just want this wicked world to burn in hell for eternity for the evil shit people do. I walked off a fucking cliff in mainland China and laid down my dignity simply hoping everyone to repent given what I have seen and believe is to come. If you still do not believe after all of this, then I know without a doubt that you do not have God’s love in you. Especially if you had the fucking audacity to throw scripture in my face and accuse me of not knowing God’s love after I had served you faithfully for years without complaint going extraordinary lengths to satisfy every single fucking unreasonable demand you made, and on the first sight of trouble you kicked me out of my own fucking company and left me to burn. In my dictionary, that fits the definition of a fucking adulterous (unfaithful) cunt perfectly. If you are only interested in receiving glory from people, then will you at least do me the courtesy of having a coffee with me and we can have a purely rational conversation to walk you through what you are ignorant about using the knowledge I learned by studying undergraduate level mathematics, physics, computer science and philosophy and discuss the challenges we are facing?
John 5:30–47
Witnesses to Jesus
[30] “I can do nothing on my own. As I hear, I judge, and my judgment is just, because I seek not my own will but the will of him who sent me. [31] If I alone bear witness about myself, my testimony is not true. [32] There is another who bears witness about me, and I know that the testimony that he bears about me is true. [33] You sent to John, and he has borne witness to the truth. [34] Not that the testimony that I receive is from man, but I say these things so that you may be saved. [35] He was a burning and shining lamp, and you were willing to rejoice for a while in his light. [36] But the testimony that I have is greater than that of John. For the works that the Father has given me to accomplish, the very works that I am doing, bear witness about me that the Father has sent me. [37] And the Father who sent me has himself borne witness about me. His voice you have never heard, his form you have never seen, [38] and you do not have his word abiding in you, for you do not believe the one whom he has sent. [39] You search the Scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; and it is they that bear witness about me, [40] yet you refuse to come to me that you may have life. [41] I do not receive glory from people. [42] But I know that you do not have the love of God within you. [43] I have come in my Father’s name, and you do not receive me. If another comes in his own name, you will receive him. [44] How can you believe, when you receive glory from one another and do not seek the glory that comes from the only God? [45] Do not think that I will accuse you to the Father. There is one who accuses you: Moses, on whom you have set your hope. [46] For if you believed Moses, you would believe me; for he wrote of me. [47] But if you do not believe his writings, how will you believe my words?” (ESV)
1 Corinthians 13:4–7
[4] Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant [5] or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; [6] it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. [7] Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (ESV)
Before you accuse me of talking the talk and not walking the walking and not knowing love fucking once again simply because you consider the strong words I used in my writings rude and offensive, please contemplate first whether you would call Jesus rude and insist on His own way if you saw Him overturning the tables in the temple courts. I laid down my life and dignity and people did nothing except refer me to mental health services. What would you do if you were in my position? Have you even done the minimum due diligence to find out what happened? Most of the pastors and theologians I spoke to certainly did not bother.
John 15:12–17
[12] “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. [13] Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. [14] You are my friends if you do what I command you. [15] No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. [16] You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. [17] These things I command you, so that you will love one another. (ESV)
Edit: I sent this email after this post was published. I have a couple more to-do items and then I believe according to the Old Testament, I have an announcement to make along with a couple of other miscellaneous items. Consider this tables overturned and you’ve been served.
Edit 2: I just realised throwing scripture in my face and accusing me of not knowing God’s love after all that I had done especially after I walked off a cliff in mainland China to save everyone including the very person who did that from God’s wrath was effectively taking the LORD thy God’s name in vain, and rather unfortunately the Holy Spirit confirmed that to me with one of the strongest confirmations I have ever had to date. Once again, I take no pleasure in the demise of a friend from my previous life and I messaged her again to repent after publishing this post, but whatever happens happens. I will stay home and focus myself getting my adult streaming career started on Chaturbate and Stripchat and bring good news to my community.